Shit.Thanks Sam.

So last night, comming home from karaoke, I was explaning to my best friend Sam how much I hate my father. And I told her this dream I had about him. We were on a field trip I suppose, and he was there, and he read an entry in my spiral about how I hated him. Its was about a sentece on him, ending in my famous words, the last words that someone will hear from my mouth, "You're irrelevant.".
Written on the paper were those two words, and I knew how much they hurt. I got told that a lot. He was standing there and..I told my friends to go and fetch the notebook whilst I caught my breath and they ran in and got a puppy. So I was pissed and ran in, my father standing before me, the spiral on the floor, opened to that page about him and everything else I hated. He started to like..advance towards me. "I just want to tlak, Skye." he said, like he seemed to care. "No!" I yelled, and started to run. He suddenly got very VERY scary. He tried to..touch me. He tried to poke my waist and everytime he did, I tried to scream.

Sidenote: I do not contain the vocal ability to sing.

So, in my dreams, I can't scream either.
So I'm running sideways and backwards, making me slower but I know that if I turn my back to him, I'll become vulnerable almost immediately.

"I woke up screaming." I said to Sam, getting on the highway back home.
"Wait..you wake up screaming?" she asked, sounding worried
"Yeah,why?"
"Oh honey, those aren't nightmares, they're nightterrors."
"....Makes sense."

So I explained to her that I knew, if my father touched me, I would loose. I would become vulnerable, I would freeze with fear. "My father never molested me or anything, I just..don't want him to touch me." I said.
"Are you sure your mind isnt blocking something out from you? Cause it can do that." replied Sam, turning into my neighborhood.
"...Shit. It's gotta be pretty bad then, cause I remember every night of when my mom was an alchoholic, and that was pretty fuckin' bad." (<---Me)

Now I'm convinced that my father did something to me when I was younger.
See title.

..What has the world come to when we fear our own flesh and blood?